Eligibility

How could we not be eligible? We submitted our background check information months ago and both of us are annoyingly, squeaky clean. How could there be a hold up? Bailey had to wait 72 hours after Jade's birth before she could sign the adoption papers and place Jade with an eligible couple. When that time came we were not an eligible couple so she couldn't sign the papers. I don't know how I fell in love with someone overnight but I did and the thought of us not having her tore me to pieces.

Luckily Bailey chose to have Jade still be with us instead of a foster-type half way house that she could have gone to until the papers were signed. We had no idea how long that would be and having our baby without papers signed is so unsettling. But when Bailey texted and asked if she could come see us and Jade because she was having a hard time and felt like it might help, we felt peaceful about the whole situation and invited her over for dinner. Sure, the papers weren't signed and the more she saw Jade the more she'd fall in love with her, but Bailey's strength and dedication to her decision from the beginning put us at ease and we were so happy to have her involved in Jade's life. Originally Bailey did not want any contact after Jade was born and we respected that but hoped she'd change her mind. She thought that it would hurt too much to see her and tried to guess and prepare for what she would feel, but what she felt when Jade was born was totally different than she had expected. She described it as a wonderful peace and knew that God was holding her through the entire experience. We weren't worried about Bailey coming to visit even though the papers weren't signed because we knew that Jade was our daughter and more importantly Bailey knew it.

Two weeks later our background checks came through and we met with our social worker, case worker, notary, witnesses and our dear Bailey and we signed the adoption papers. Jade's birth father had already relinquished his rights months ago so that was already taken care of. Some birth-moms view this day as one of the hardest but our experience with Bailey wasn't sad in the slightest. It was exciting to see each other again and we knew that this wasn't the last time.

Jade is still not legally ours. We have physical custody but the agency has legal custody for the first six months of her life. Our case worker comes and visits every month to see how things are going and to make sure we are not crazies. At the end of the six months (assuming they don't think we are crazies and we are seen fit) we will go through all the legal mumbo jumbo and she will legally become ours.
Today Jade is 11 weeks old. She will become a big sister in exactly one month from today and I am FREAKING out! We had to schedule a c-section because 5 years ago I broke my pelvis in four different places and I won't be able to deliver vaginally. At first I was bummed but I am okay with it now, just concerned about having a 3 1/2 month old, a newborn, and recovering from major abdominal surgery all at the same time. Luckily we've learned that we aren't given anything we can't handle and I know we'll find a way.

One thing I know for sure is these two girls are meant to be together. When I wrote about Jade being born in the last post I forgot to tell about an incredible thing that I got to experience as she came out. As soon as Bailey started to push and Jade's head was appearing, Ruby went NUTS inside of me. I had never before felt anything like that and it was amazing. She was doing flips inside my stomach like she was rejoicing as Jade entered the world. When I told my mom about this experience she reminded me of the story of Elisabeth in Luke 1:41 when she heard the greeting of Mary and her babe (John the Baptist) leaped in her womb. It was such a special experience because of my unique situation that I know not everyone gets to have, and I felt blessed to be able to physically feel the love and connection between my two daughters. I may have to remind them of that when they are older and pulling each other's hair out. The past 2 1/2 months has changed our life completely. One month from today it'll all change again. Am I ready??? Would you be?

My two girls!