Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Eligibility

How could we not be eligible? We submitted our background check information months ago and both of us are annoyingly, squeaky clean. How could there be a hold up? Bailey had to wait 72 hours after Jade's birth before she could sign the adoption papers and place Jade with an eligible couple. When that time came we were not an eligible couple so she couldn't sign the papers. I don't know how I fell in love with someone overnight but I did and the thought of us not having her tore me to pieces.

Luckily Bailey chose to have Jade still be with us instead of a foster-type half way house that she could have gone to until the papers were signed. We had no idea how long that would be and having our baby without papers signed is so unsettling. But when Bailey texted and asked if she could come see us and Jade because she was having a hard time and felt like it might help, we felt peaceful about the whole situation and invited her over for dinner. Sure, the papers weren't signed and the more she saw Jade the more she'd fall in love with her, but Bailey's strength and dedication to her decision from the beginning put us at ease and we were so happy to have her involved in Jade's life. Originally Bailey did not want any contact after Jade was born and we respected that but hoped she'd change her mind. She thought that it would hurt too much to see her and tried to guess and prepare for what she would feel, but what she felt when Jade was born was totally different than she had expected. She described it as a wonderful peace and knew that God was holding her through the entire experience. We weren't worried about Bailey coming to visit even though the papers weren't signed because we knew that Jade was our daughter and more importantly Bailey knew it.

Two weeks later our background checks came through and we met with our social worker, case worker, notary, witnesses and our dear Bailey and we signed the adoption papers. Jade's birth father had already relinquished his rights months ago so that was already taken care of. Some birth-moms view this day as one of the hardest but our experience with Bailey wasn't sad in the slightest. It was exciting to see each other again and we knew that this wasn't the last time.

Jade is still not legally ours. We have physical custody but the agency has legal custody for the first six months of her life. Our case worker comes and visits every month to see how things are going and to make sure we are not crazies. At the end of the six months (assuming they don't think we are crazies and we are seen fit) we will go through all the legal mumbo jumbo and she will legally become ours.
Today Jade is 11 weeks old. She will become a big sister in exactly one month from today and I am FREAKING out! We had to schedule a c-section because 5 years ago I broke my pelvis in four different places and I won't be able to deliver vaginally. At first I was bummed but I am okay with it now, just concerned about having a 3 1/2 month old, a newborn, and recovering from major abdominal surgery all at the same time. Luckily we've learned that we aren't given anything we can't handle and I know we'll find a way.





One thing I know for sure is these two girls are meant to be together. When I wrote about Jade being born in the last post I forgot to tell about an incredible thing that I got to experience as she came out. As soon as Bailey started to push and Jade's head was appearing, Ruby went NUTS inside of me. I had never before felt anything like that and it was amazing. She was doing flips inside my stomach like she was rejoicing as Jade entered the world. When I told my mom about this experience she reminded me of the story of Elisabeth in Luke 1:41 when she heard the greeting of Mary and her babe (John the Baptist) leaped in her womb. It was such a special experience because of my unique situation that I know not everyone gets to have, and I felt blessed to be able to physically feel the love and connection between my two daughters. I may have to remind them of that when they are older and pulling each other's hair out. The past 2 1/2 months has changed our life completely. One month from today it'll all change again. Am I ready??? Would you be?


My two girls!

18 comments:

  1. That is so cool about Ruby jumping around! I'm sure it's true that she really was so excited! It makes me want to cry when I think about it! I can't wait to see them together in Facebook pictures... and SOMEDAY in real life, too! We need to have a sisters reunion soon! Good luck with your next big step and I know it will be great! I wish you lived closer so I could come meet them!

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  2. I am so unbelievably happy for you Sarah! You deserve this happiness more than anyone. All my love to you and your growing family.

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  3. Um yeah, this post made me cry... especially the part about Ruby doing flips when Jade was born. That is so happy!!!

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  4. One thing I have learned is that no matter how ready or not you feel. You will be ready. the room may not be ready, you may not have as many meals in the freezer as you'd like, your life may already be crazy, but you are ready. You have to be. You are becoming a mom (again or for the first time)and you just have to be ready. Everyone will always ask "How do you do it?". My responses is always, I just do. And you will to. Having the c-section will give you extra excuses to just lay there and hold the two tiny one. What new mom doesn't love any reason to just be calm. The rest of the house may not be beautiful. Dinners may be boring. But oh to just sit there and snuggle the little ones. They only let you snuggle them for so long.
    You will be ready. Because you are a mom. And we have to be.

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  5. Sarah this is an amazing story! I'm so happy that God has blessed you this way! I have a 3 month old and it can be crazy at time I can't imagine having another one. BUT I think you hit the nail on the head.. God won't give us more than we can handle and your two little girls must have a very special plan for the kingdom! Just think of it like having twins! Just a little bit of an age difference! May God continue to bless your growing family!!

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  6. There is something I've always found incredibly divine and heavenly. Adoptive children always seem to resemble their parents, not just their birth parents. I look at jade and I see your husband! Its awesome. God is so so good!

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  7. Sarah you are so beautiful inside & out! Thank you for sharing your story with us! I am in tears with every new post. This story hits so close to home for me. Bailey is such a brave girl. How lucky she is to have found you and Jason! xo

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  8. I could barely see this through my water filled eyeballs!!! Such a beautiful story!!! I love you do much!! Love tara:)))

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  9. I had a similar experience when my sister's first little girl was born, and I was 8 and a half months pregnant with Owen. He was going nuts in there! He had also been head up, but after all the dancing inside me, he ended up head down just like he was supposed to be. It's like he was just waiting for Olivia to come, and then he got ready to come himself.

    I love this story! Can't wait to hear all about sweet Ruby next!

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  10. She really is so precious Sarah!! I need to see you guys. Pretty please let me know when you are up this way.
    -Elise

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  11. Sarah, what and exciting time. I think of you often. I had to have a C-sectiion too because little Willow was face up and got stuck in my pelvis. It's not as bad as you might think and recover, for me anyway, was very smooth. Way easier than I thought. I wish you the best and will be thinking of you on Ocober 11th!

    -Sarah Cipolla (Ostrenga)

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  12. Each and every entry of this is so amazing. Geoff walked in as I was bawling and asked if I was okay. He saw what I was reading and just smiled. I think, as well as some of my friends who have read all of this, that you need to write a book about this. Your adventure through your life up to this point hasn't been a dull one and you are a very good writer! I just love you bunches! I need to make a trip down to see you soon. I need to just call and check on you and catch up. Love you girl!

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  13. YOU KNOW YOU'RE READY!!!!! :D Can't believe all this about sweet Jade and all the emotions, but everything happens for a reason... we are given things we can handle, and there is always something to learn from a grow from. Always turn to the Lord, but you already know that ;) Love you guys... BEST OF LUCK!! 1 MORE MONTH and you'll pretty much have TWINS!!

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  14. Thanks for the blog and sharing your story with us and also the very very cute pics.. The part about Ruby leaping was so amazing

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  15. TEARS with that one!! Love how baby Ruby jumped in the womb! That is the most wonderfully amazing thing ever! (I am wearing the shirt you and your mom signed for me! I am getting ready to try my first attempt at training for a couch to 5k!-Thanks for your encouragement of "Every excuse is a choice to fail". I am repeating that today!) Thank you for sharing your story both on the screen, in person, and in your blog! I wish I lived closer...I know we'd be friends! :-)

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  16. I am so stinkin excited for you guys. my sister and I grew up close and the BEST of friends, your girls are going to love it! And so will you! Congrats again and again and again!

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  17. Jade is so beautiful! I can't wait to see Ruby! I'm sure you'll be really busy once Ruby comes- but I know you can do it! I'm so happy for you and Jason!

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  18. I'd forgotten all about my blogs! I just happened upon them today and I'm so so glad I did. You're a great mom, Sarah! The summersaults in your womb were so cool. There is so much we don't know about the conscious mind. Happy birthing!

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